Why You Should Stop Pursuing Goals, and Start Living: Day 30 of #31DaysofSelfCompassion.

My happiness has always been just 10 pounds away, just a degree away, just a boyfriend away, just a new pair of shoes away, just a circumstance away. It is never now, because now always feels like a struggle, full of regret, shame and envy.

Even in my journey of self-love, I assumed happiness was on the other side of overcoming self-loathing. I’ll be much happier after I banish low self-esteem forever, after I’m finally in love with myself, after people’s comments no longer get to me. This is the reason why I would often feel so frustrated and angry whenever I felt myself slipping back into old self-sabotaging habits. Setbacks made me feel like I was losing grip on my happiness goal which felt so near. I was convinced that if I just overcame this one insecurity issue, my life would finally fall into place.  A journey that was meant to free me from self-loathing and help me live a purposeful life, became its own trap I failed to realize that life doesn’t  begin only after you’ve reached your goal.

Day 30. Have compassion for the limbo between where you are and where you want to go. That blur and confusion, that is where life really lives, where it blossoms, where it creates magic.

It’s great to have goals in life, but in banking your happiness on them, you put your life on a shelf, ready live it only after said goals have been reached. Before you realize it, life has passed you by while you were looking at your checklist. If you stop for a moment, just long enough to take an assessment of your life you will see that it was the in between moments that really give you joy. All the times in college before getting your degree, the times in the gym before hitting your goal weight, the late nights designing your project to present at work, the sweating hours on your yoga mat to master a pose, the great times with friends and family on random trips.

Please don’t wait to live your life, don’t wait to earn happiness. Don’t wait to lose weight before including yourself in pictures, or saying yes to an adventure. Don’t wait to feel worthy before saying yes to love, to a new job, to a new project. The in-between, that is sacred space. That is where magic happens. Be here, be present, live.

Alan Watts – Why Your Life Is Not A Journey from David Lindberg on Vimeo.

logo made of a lady stick figure. a circle for the head, slightly bigger circle for the bust, and a bigger half circle for the bottom. on the right it reads "the dearbody project. Do you love you?"

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